random odd things
yea random odd things


i dont sleep in a bed alone since i seperated with jolene - if my daughter wants me to lay with her i will but otherwise i sleep on the floor. i slept on the floor anyway a lot but now i absolutely cant sleep in a bed alone. come sleep with me.

i wouldnt really consider myself a night person but i guess i just wind up staying up late all the time and have my whole life but i really enjoy the sun

im going to the bahamas on the 26th - i will have broadband internet but i plan on just sitting on the beach and sipping cool drink and not thinking about balling
i tell myself that now but when i get out there i probably wont be able to relax

i really miss my stc brothers and look forward to our reunion, also inevitable in the near future

im getting a couple more wisdom teeth knocked out tomorrow

im swaying back and forth with my eyes closed right now and typing because i can

im taking deep breaths silentjohn would be proud

its odd but i realize now just how many options i really have had and havent exercised
ive always been somewhat on the lazy side but now its like ball or die you only have one head to worry about and thats bella
so stay the fuck out of jail nose clean for a couple of years then bounce back

i want to set an example for my daughter but life goal 294 is four females and me at the same time
most of my life goals are complicated yet extremely shallow
and that one is very easily accomplished but is it realy important no not really

im pretty torn
one half of me really wants to settle the fuck down walk away from it all and just seek boring contentment
the other half wants to live this life which it assumes it was predestined for of balling bitches and bogomips

neither side can coexist peacefully and once one path is chosen the other one is nullified

im sure im going to go through my journal one day and fucking laugh because i already do
i used to post so much cryptic shit when jolene and i would be fighting but i can juxtapose brain then and brain now and remember exactly what i was thinking

god our marriage was mainly a sham, but by being with her is the only way i can guarantee hers and bellas absolute safety

i have this odd 6th sense about shit and its usually always right i try to deny it when it doesnt go my way but it seems to detect something

i dunno i just detect that im going to have to fucking end someone for crossing the line and it wont be pretty
worries the shit out of me

three to six months of roses then three to six years of hell

my eyes have been open for a while now but they are intermittently shutting

today was a monday and tomorrow will be tuesday
in all techinical terms today is a tuesday and its almost 4am
8 hours would put me at 12
waste of a nice day but i dont feel like staying up on caffiene alone so i may just sleep for 5-6 hours probably 5
yea 5 works gnight